Going Out of My Mind

I talked to my endocrinologist, and she thinks I'm within normal range, but still not what she'd like to see in pregnant women. So she upped my medication yet again, so hopefully it will be better by the time I am actually pregnant.

I'm prone to worrying... A LOT. Anything can push me over the edge. Right now I am freaking out that our 3rd IUI won't work. It's our last for now, so it has to work. Technically we can keep on trying, but that would drain our savings, and we'd like to have some in case something happens.

I don't know anyone going through any of this, so reading blogs will have to do for now. I just wish I could talk to someone about it. I want to know if I'm the only one who has a hard time during the IUI (I find it to be extremely painful, and I do mean painful; not uncomfortable, painful!). Am I the only one who worries about the silliest of things, like the fact we have to leave the clinic shortly after the IUI, and it takes a while to get home - so I don't do the whole "legs up in the air" thing?  I just wish I knew more people, or anyone at all, going through this.

As for the IUI, I think it will be sometime next week. I just really, really, REALLY hope it's not on the 24th as B has jury duty on that day and we have no idea how long she'll be there for. I don't want to go alone, I just can't imagine going through that procedure alone, and we'll most likely skip this cycle if that's the case... on the other hand it'd be really neat to get pregnant before Christmas... what could be a better present? So, we'll see.

Where is my Baby?

Compared to a lot of people going through infertility, our situation isn't bad at all. As far as we know, other than a difficult cervix and hypothyroidism, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with me. I worry about the hypothyroidism because since we started trying, they had to adjust my medicine at least three times, so even though the doctor said it was okay to go ahead and try, there's always that little voice in my head making me worry that maybe that's why it hasn't been working. Last time I checked my TSH was 2.8 (ideal would be under 2.5), and that was about 7 weeks ago. I had a blood test done this week, so I'll call on Monday, and hopefully they won't need to adjust my pills again and it will be under 2.5 . Here is to hoping!

Speaking of blood test.... ugh, mine sucked. The lady who did it didn't notice how tight the tourniquet and my shirt were. It felt like she was stabbing me, and usually I barely feel the needle at all (it's the blood coming out that always gets me!). Then when she was done and took the needle out, quite a bit of blood came out too, so yeah. Ugh. Then she apologized and asked me not to carry anything or do much with my arm for about an hour so it wouldn't bruise too much. Yeah, uh, okay, thanks.

Anyway, today was my last day taking clomiphene (hot flashes at 23, anyone?), and I have to start checking for ovulation soon. I really hope it works this time. I don't know how many more tries we can afford, if any at all. If only we had the luxury of trying it at home, just the two of us and nothing else. Sigh.

Heh, at least I'll get to emotionally blackmail our kid when they're old enough: "see what we did just to get you here!" Hehehehe.

Good enough for now.

Adventures in Baby Making

Blog made. Next step?: Coming up with a name. Now if you knew me, you'd know how frustrating that one particular step is. I always have the hardest time making up my mind. That is the reason I don't have a favorite color, or movie, or song, or book... I just can't pick one! There are too many good ones out there, how can one possibly be expected to stick to one?! Same thing happened when I made this blog, with the added hassle that I had to actually MAKE UP a name... no lists of blog names for me to go through.

After a couple of hours, I decided it would be dinosaursaysrawr. It'd make absolutely no sense to anyone but me, and it would most certainly make my wife smile, so why not? So I went ahead and typed it up, clicked on next and... it was taken! By someone who didn't write a single entry. Not a one!

After a long time I thought of that movie "Adventures in Babysitting" (which I have yet to see btw), and thought "well, adventuresinbabymaking wouldn't be so bad". Except it was also taken. By someone who posted only 3 times back in 2004/2005. Then after reading her 3 entries I felt bad for silently cursing her, after all she was going through ttc back then too, and that's hard.

Igiveup was also taken, in case anyone was wondering.

Then after a long time (again), I found myself unable to get The Big Bang Theory theme song out of my head. I seem to have a hard time learning the lyrics of a song. B can memorize them almost instantly after she listens to it for the first time. Yet, every time we watch BBT she's unable to sing along the whole thing (she's getting there though), and the one line that we ALWAYS sing along to is "we built the pyramids" (and the very last BANG heh), so there you go.

Be warned: not only will you read about our adventures in baby making, apparently you'll also read about random things such as coming up with a blog name. I'll try to keep anything off topic to a minimum though.

Enough for now.

The First of Many (hopefully)

I've been thinking about making my own blog for a while now. I read enough of them, and God knows I can talk. Saying I get carried away with it is an understatement. I will ramble about anything, which usually gets me off topic pretty quickly. Speaking of which...

I guess I should start by saying who I am and why I am making this blog. I still have not decided how private I want this to be, so for now you can call me M. I have been married to a lovely woman (B) for over 2 years now, and we can't wait to have our own kids. B has PCOS, among other health issues, so I will be the one carrying the baby... which is ironic, as I'd wanted to adopt most of my life and always told people "why have a baby when there are so many in need of a home?", but really? I was mostly weirded out by the whole pregnancy and giving birth aspect.

I've long changed my mind, and even though I am still dreading all of the bad "side effects" of having a tiny little human being in my tummy, I cannot wait for it to happen.

If only things were that simple. B is a little low on the sperm (heh), so we are using the help of a fertility clinic. We have done two IUI's so far and both failed. Here's to hoping that third time's really a charm.

Well, enough for the first post.